This story is about me and my father, I never thought that i would write this story since i am not a good son to my father and I start to realized that i will never be a good father my self, or will not give birth to any child.


For now year 2011, im 30 years old, now girl friend now wife no children no nothing. I am not sure how to live my life. maybe im not meant to live a good live at all, im not a good family guy or even a sibling. I think of my father as someone who miscalculated his strength to have a big family and standing up to become a good father. I blamed him for all the misfortune that my brothers and sister are into. I hated my father but now as usual everything comes back to me. I should have leave my father alone instead of blaming him cause its not helping him nor my family. I could have been a good son to him. I never said i love my father, but i do love my father when i was growing up, but 2nd year high school came when everything changes, thats when i asked myself, why i dont have this and that, why were are so many and why my father keeps bragging on things he did not even contributed, I hated him for that, i dont even go to church and start not to believe in Jesus and God. Im starting to think of them as not real, but sometimes i do ask God, how in the world my father did not realized that he will find it hard to feed us all.

I hate fathers with big family, i keep asking myself how they were able to bring children to this world without thinking if they can be a good provider for them. This is what makes me and my father great enemies. Although im writing this im still not sure if i will ask his forgiveness, i know my father and he does not understand and feel what other feels, why i know him? cause im exactly the same as him. I am the perfect resemblance of my father in a lot of ways. Girls, pretending, using money, no 1 decision , no respect for others, gets angry easily and etc. are my fathers attitude. You might think im too rude for my father but no, if he will write about me, he will write exactly the same thing i wrote about him.

I dont know if we will see each other again, but as i said, we dont like each other, we know what we want and feel. For my father, i hope he is somewhere we all hope our father is where at, heaven a place where Jesus forgive us, may God loves my father there, and maybe i will see him there too. who knows.